“Hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something.” ~ Optimism
Lately I have been thinking a lot about the way I have been looking at the world. My recent encounters is leading me to suggest that the belief that everyone is good, is flawed. Up until now I haven’t really thought about why or how I came to be like this. Is it a way to shield myself from accepting that sometimes (majority of the time) this simply is not the case? I am afraid that this has been part of my personality my whole life that I will not be able to see things from a different perspective.
Maybe its a matter of maturity and comes with every let down, every heart break and eventually you realise you have been naïve. I argue though what is the alternative? How does one live in constant state of awareness and suspicion that today is the day you will be let down. How does one trust someone with this attitude? Do I trust too easily in the hope and that I can change the pessimist. I told you I felt it was a “curse”, tired of being the one who hopes for the best, believing people can change, situations will change if you will it enough. It doesn’t and it won’t.
A fear instils in me as I feel like I will turn into a bitter person if I am anything but who I am right now. My kids look up to me and I need to be setting an example for them. But I don’t want them to be naïve, I want them to have the ability to see things for what they really are and not through rose coloured glasses. The ability to stand up for what they believe in even if no one else does. On more than one occasion in the last month it has been pointed out to me (by different people) that “your an optimist”. I’m not sure what to make of it, it almost sounds like an insult.
Despite all this there are two things I am sure of:
- I have limits (although I hate confrontations, if I believe the cause is worth it I will react)
- Don’t mistake kindness for weakness
I’m sure I am getting the lines blurred between optimism, kindness, positivity and naivety but that’s something for me to try and work out in finding a good balance of each. A perfect balance of pessimism and optimism, if only it was that easy.