The Retreat

Thats the view from the yoga room. It’s coming up to a year now since I went on a 3 day soul searching journey. The anticipation leading up to this was unbearable at times, I couldn’t wait to getaway. Anyone who knew me, knew how much I was looking forward to this trip of solitary, silence and serenity. It was going to be epic, my first trip alone. No one to rely on, no one to please except myself.

Not knowing what to expect I was dropped off at the gates and I walked in a tad bit nervous. New place, new people there was no way of being in complete control over here. As I walk to the communal lounge, dining area I’m taken aback by how beautiful it all is. Consciously taking a moment to appreciate this opportunity, a breath of fresh air, the place is surrounded by trees and those rustling leaves are lighting up all the right neurons.

I proceed to check in and am handed the keys to my cabin…still no one in sight only voices. My cabin is small, private (last one on the end of the road) and completely stunning. My balcony faces a dense bush and I can already feel the noise of city life fading away. I can smell the wood of the floors, the walls. I sit on the bed and it takes me a while to wind down, I can’t get over the sight in front of me. Ive got to share it, so I take some snaps and send a few view envy pics to my nearest and dearest. The phone is off now.

I’ve finally braved my way to the communal area for orientation. It feels as if everyone is here with someone, and the realisation hits…I’m the only one here alone. Who will I talk to, who will I sit with during meal times. There is nothing more depressing than eating alone (primary school memories flash back). I catch myself, hang on this is what you came here for right? It’s time to meet some more human beings away from the work environment. There is no competitive edge here, it’s simple you and simple them.

I remain in the communal area after orientation for two reasons: firstly if I go back to the cabin I will fall asleep (I have already used up a lot of mental energy trying to control the situation I am in). Secondly the communal area setting is so beautiful and the fire is lit and its dusk so why the hell not. I have my book with me which I use as a shelter from awkward conversations. During dinner I make an effort to sit with different groups each night and I am really glad I did. I met so many mums like myself each with different backgrounds and reasons for being here. It made me realise once you strip all the persona bull-shit we are all just striving for a little peace of mind.

“You are so brave for coming here alone” ~ the women I got to know

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