Anxious Warrior

Its all subjective, only you know your threshold of bearing the weight of the world. I guess it comes down to life experiences which has a way of building up fear and worry throughout the years through learned and innate behaviour. It’s also heavily dependent on timing and situation. The important thing is how to deal with it all. I describe it as having two conflicting personalities. On one side theres reactive panic me and then (as a means of self preservation) the warrior me kicks in.

Lets break it down into:

The Past: the constant revisiting of whether the right decisions were made, what would happen if you knew how to fight the world and stuck to your guns.
Warrior mode: it doesn’t matter honey, what’s done is done, no point in looking back. Focus on the present and the positives and figure out what you want to achieve. Don’t forget the concept of time and how easily this can be taken from you.

The Present: if we’re talking right now, the main concern would be who is reading this and more importantly whether I am being judged because of it. If we’re talking this year then its the concern that we don’t get enough family time because we are too busy making everyone else happy.
Warrior mode: make the time, prioritise and learn to say no without feeling a wave of guilt. As for the judgement its a non-subject, it’s simply a way of creating distance  from people who will never understand you anyway.

The Future: it’s all about change. Something has got to change and you are going to have to be the one to do it. The shift needs to be focussed on my two most important assets, the constant battle to “mother” right. Make sure they have a well-rounded upbringing. Make sure they have the character building life experiences which you know is extremely important.
Warrior mode: never leave your journey of self-discovery. As you can see this not only helps you understand yourself but also others. Give your son’s an example to live by, show them what never give up or lose hope looks like. Equip them with the skills to deal.

Although it can seem messy and overwhelming at times, it’s all apart of the journey. Take a breath and take it one day at a time.

 

 

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