I took a little trip by myself, it was meant to be a quick one and ended up being what felt like a really long time (3 nights). After years of thinking I was a strong independent woman, my subconscious had other ideas and decided to shed some light in the form of nightmares. It turns out I am not as independent as I thought I was. To an extent I am, i.e. getting to work by myself and going grocery shopping alone etc etc. But the moment anything gets a little out of step I turn to my most trusted and assume he will fix everything for me (which he always manages to do..bless).

But this trip was different, it was something I have wanted to do in a long time to really test if I am able to function through a series of processes or tests to get to a certain destination by myself. You must be thinking, what is she going on about how hard can it be to get from destination A to destination B by yourself? Well considering my whole life has been sheltered by some form of the elite (parents, husband, the powers that be) it proved to be a challenge to venture into the unknown. That is what it was, in its purest form, something I haven’t experienced before which in turn made me anxious and excited at the same time. Moderating those emotions and my inner dialogue throughout was an interesting journey.

So naturally one panics and convinces themselves they can do this, while feeling a certain dryness in their mouth and tense neck the whole way through. Denial works wonders sometimes. So after a few vivd nightmares, a wrong turn on the trek, meeting beautiful human beings and a cancelled flight, I got there in the end and managed to make it back. Being independently dependent on my lifeline talking me through and letting me know I can do this. It is only when you make yourself uncomfortable that you start to figure out that yes, maybe you can do this. Its also a good reminder to not take what you have for granted.

So here’s to stepping out of your comfort zone more often….